Dancing as Couples Therapy

personSlađana Milošević
history5 minutes reading

I had the idea that my dear long time friends write this article. They are a married couple with three PhD titles: she has two and he has one! A few years ago, they started with dance classes. I clearly remember how pleasant those dance classes were for them. I have come up with this title that Suzana and myself, we liked it very much: “3 PhD titles of One Dance Couple”. But also, it inspired me to write about dance as therapy for couples.

I hope that my friends will share with us their experience with dancing classes and dancing in general; until then, here is a story about why you should dance as a couple.

Let me begin with what I already shared recently in this text on our blog. A client of mine who follows our Dance and The City blog wanted to take dance classes with his wife and he said to me: “I am trying to persuade my wife to go (to dancing classes). If nothing else, we will look into each other’s eyes for two hours”. He is right, dance is a great therapy for couples.

In Today magazine I found simple explanation why dance is good for couples. The article is written by Lois Elfman; she talked with professional ballroom dance champion Elena Grinenko: “As far as therapy for couples, it’s a great thing to do,” she says. “Dance teaches us a lot about the relationship between the male and the female.” Dancing requires good etiquette and communication, and the body language is unbeatable. (Source: Why dancing is like couples therapy (today.com))

Now in his seventh season on “Dancing With the Stars,” professional dancer Tony Dovolani says:

“It’s almost like you have a newfound love for each other,” Dovolani says. “Discovering new steps together teaches couples to interact with each other. They’re looking into each other’s eyes, anticipating the next move. It opens up energy channels of feeling and connection. It rejuvenates everything.” (Source: Why dancing is like couples therapy (today.com))

Dovolani says learning to dance teaches communication skills and fosters respect. The physical activity is a great stress reliever and the positive feelings about the shared experience make couples excited to carve out alone time. (Source: Why dancing is like couples therapy (today.com))

Of course, this all sounds very logical. But let’s see what research results show us about this topic and also what is the opinion of other therapists. This text is taken from: Why Marriage Counselors Recommend Dancing – Arthur Murray Studios

Dance: Refreshing marriage

Boredom is one of the top relationship killers according to the American Psychological Association (APA). The trouble is, it’s easy to let boredom seep into a long-term relationship. For healthy relationship it is necessary to talk openly and keep it interesting (source: Happy couples: How to keep your relationship healthy (apa.org))

The best thing you can do for your relationship is to start something new. Experts recommend breaking out of the routine and trying new things, states APA:

As it says in the article Why Marriage Counselors Recommend Dancing – Arthur Murray Studios: “Why is dance so good as something new? As we already have said, dance involves a physical connection. The contact causes the release of hormones (oxytocin) that help you feel love and connection with others. While dancing you have to coordinate with your partner. When you use your body language in this way, you’ll both feel much more emotionally attuned, studies show. Another study showed that: “couples report feeling more satisfied with their relationships and more in love with their partner.”

As the therapist, Dr. Hokule’a Borofsky in this text fully endorses dance as a form of therapy as affirmed through her own experience. Dance offers the perfect set of conditions to bring couples close together again. Dancing is, as she states, a flirtatious, sexy, fun, and exciting activity that can bring some of that honeymoon stage energy back to the relationship. Your heart beats faster, your palms might sweat, and the beat of the music lifts your spirit. Experiencing this with your partner offers you the chance to fall in love all over again, whether your relationship is on the rocks or not.

Dance eliminates dangerous boredom. With dancing, you never know what to expect. Your body must move, you have the chance to focus fully on your partner. With changing beats and moving feet, you’re constantly challenged to think of the next step and do it together. There’s no getting bored on the dance floor. Experiencing this newness with your partner opens up communication, joy, and fun”.

Facebook page Dancing in Delta summarise well benefits for dancing couples:

  • Quality time
  • Creates a strong bond
  • Dancing is a teamwork
  • Feelings are expressed

While we are waiting for our couple with three PhD titles to share their experience as dancing couple, we are sending you good vibrations and we do hope you dance most of the time!


Why dancing is like couples therapy (today.com)


Happy couples: How to keep your relationship healthy (apa.org)

Why Marriage Counselors Recommend Dancing – Arthur Murray Studios

Photo: Pexels.com/Arina Krasnikova

Pexels.com/Polina Tankilevitch

couplesdance couplerelationshipstherapy
Sladjana Milosevic
Blog Author Sladjana Milosevic

Accredited coach/mentor (MP EIA). Accredited coach/mentor supervisor (ESIA)

Diplomate in Logotherapy (Viktor Frankl Institute, USA)

Logocoaching – coaching by applying basic principles of logotherapy.

Coaching – Sir John Whitmore defines coaching as: “Unlocking person’s potential to maximize their own performance” (Source: Whitmore, J. (2002). Coaching for Performance, Third Edition: Growing People, Performance, and Purpose).

Coaching is not a therapy in any sense!

Logotherapy – Logotherapy provides answers to questions about the meaning of existence. As a psychotherapeutic approach, it brings into psychotherapy the knowledge that in addition to the physical and mental dimension, a person also has a third, spiritual dimension. In Logotherapy, the focus in on the future, on tasks and meaning.

You can find more about Logotherapy from: Viktor Frankl Institute, Vienna/Austria.

For more information about logocoaching, coaching and coach/mentor supervision you can send e-mail to Sladjana: kontakt@plesigrad.rs